So today I’m writing after our first unbroken night sleep in god knows how long, being thankful but also hopeful that tonight it happens again!? I hate that feeling of dread right before you go to sleep..is it going to be good or bad, I hate the unpredictability!! I find myself day dreaming of the time I’d get 8 hours sleep, possibly 10 on a weekend and still would think ‘I’m so busy’!! What the hell did I do with my time!!!?? Nowadays I barely get time to brush my hair and have a wee!!
To say the last few weeks has been horrendous is an understatement!! A few weeks back we decided to drop the twins dream feed, Eden had been without hers and doing fine for around 3 weeks before. I’d had the girls 6 month developmental check (that’s their corrected age as they were 2 months prem) and their weights had come back great and they weren’t drinking their morning bottle so we knew it was time. To be fair the first few nights were great, only a couple of wake ups through the night to put a dummy in. Then the clocks changed, and they are definitely teething so all hell started to break loose in the early hours of the morning!! And so begins our sleep deprivation… Around a week of being up and down all night like a frigging yo yo, plus starting work, then to top it off they all had sickness and diahreah, somebody shoot me!! One night they were vomitting in a domino effect we’d change one baby and bedding, then the next one would start, and then the next, it was hideous!! Thank god Steve was on half term as I’m not sure I’d have coped with 4 kids and myself puking!
It’s been relentless, some days I want to crawl up in a dark hole and never come out, then you get a grip and realise you can’t because you’ve got an army of children to look after! Sleep deprivation is the worst, I hate feeling snappy and emotional, it’s like being on a roller coaster that you can’t get off of, but to top it off you have 4 little people that are dependent on you, like I said its relentless. There always feels like there’s never enough time, it’s hard juggling 3 babies, a household and Flo, I constantly feel guilty I don’t give her enough of my time, but I guess I’d feel that if we’d have only had one extra baby?
It’s a good job I have a sport background as I don’t think I’d have the mental strength to do this day in day out and still feel like a normal human being! Hats off to any multiple mummies who find it a breeze, I sure as hell don’t!. An important thing for me is to have things to look forward to, it keeps me sane! I like to have physical and fun stuff planned to give me a goal other than bringing up four beautiful girls, so this week has been great to get back into some trampoline show stuff at the sports aid ball, and the winter wolf run with my friends. Granted it’s a bit bonkers to try and cram so much in after the last few weeks but these are things just for me, I think it’s so important to remember I’m still a person not just a mum!
So the girls are nearly 9 months old, I’m so glad I’m blogging as the time is flying! They are sitting up nearly unaided, rolling and trying to crawl, they absolutely love their food and enjoy sitting with their big sister at the table! It’s so cute hearing their little ‘mamma’ ‘daddas’ they are learning and developing so much each day, when I see their beautiful smiley faces it makes me realise I am strong enough to do this, they won’t be babies forever, so as the posters say, keep calm and carry on!!